whisk-ey: If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located.
dorfs: Whoops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year
Me every night: I can have exactly 7 hours 23 minutes and 48 seconds of sleep if I fall asleep right now.
hashi-hashi: ryannxp: irisowl: So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized Dr. Robert Evans I looked it up My dentist is Captain America’s dad
uhhhthena: ppeebee: jaymesmcguiness: KRISPY KREME ARE GIVING OUT A FREE DOUGHNUT FOR EVERY A YOU GET ON YOUR REPORT CARD THIS HAS MOTIVATED ME MORE THAN MY TEACHERS. i’d have 6 free donuts. I’m gonna steal my friend’s report cards.
hahairuinedyou: thelocalpaedo: googlevideos: what if instead of having sex people just stood and screamed at each other’s faces for a while isn’t that called marriage ZING
me at restaurants: is there wi-fi
me at the mountains: is there wi-fi
me at the beach: is there wi-fi
me at family parties: is there wi-fi
me at school: is there wi-fi
me in hell: is there wi-fi
quazza: i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence
jakemalik: me and my dog type each other messages sometimes